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Some Philosophical Theories

The opinions below are not necessarily mine...

Originally my "memoir" in response to Nafisi's, but it's basically an essay now that portrays my current attitude towards the novel, which may change as time progresses. Then again, it might not. It's pretty damn boring so far...--7/20/04
           As I loomed over my novel written by such an exquisitely pathetic author that I have never heard of, my mind began to drift towards those topics that would normally not be discussed in the memoirs of that author. It was not a wave of realization of my existence or any reflection upon my current state of being, but instead an utter repulsion towards the incredibly debilitating scripture that Mrs. Nafisi provides in her work. But yet, as my thoughts progress, I peer deeper into her writing in hopes that her experiences might provide me with some insight into the inner turmoil of my own mentality. But alas, it had only devoured whatever scrap of light that still glimmered in the dark recess of my consciousness. Such as it was, stories of Iranian women secretly reading novels did not appeal to me; neither were their attempts to stand out and rebel against their government in subtle and private ways. But wait, perhaps I may be prejudiced against her since the start, which may provide a reason for my failure to realize her messages. But, that can't be it. I actually believed that there was something worth reading in the bland, cream colored text plastered with two women huddled around a book. One glance at their intense interest in whatever the bullshit they were reading made me realize that such useless matters are of no importance to me. Frankly, I did not care for their escape from reality. It was my own reality that was at stake here, and I did not want any Iranian women reading Lolita in Tehran having to do with any of it. If I wanted to "rebel" in the same way they did, I might as well have rendered myself helpless in a narcotic bliss. Alas, I could do no such thing, as my conscience would not allow me to perform such a blatantly pathetic and unhealthy act. Much like ingesting wholesome morsels, I would prefer to stick with my regimen of junk food and SoBe to provide me with my natural high, instead of some scraps of paper containing words written about someone reading other books. What a paradox. A book about other people reading other books. I mean, normally such an idea would be a monument towards the ingenuity of the human mind, but in this case, Mrs. Nafisi fails miserably. Not only does she take the recipe for success and defiles the sanctity of such an idea, but she also throws into the cauldron her own snakes, scorpions and whatnot to create her demonic stew of insipid blight. Such are the ways of those who force others to suffer under their politically incorrect method of brainwashing. But I believe I have spoken long enough. In terms of the idiot, I would usually say "don't believe everything you read," but the idiot who would really listen to that would just not believe what I just wrote. What a Catch-22. So, there's not much I can do except exposing those who have not suffered a glimpse into the evils of reflectional memoirs, which Mrs. Nafisi has demonstrated most brilliantly. Please take caution of such texts, for sometimes the reason that the reader fails to comprehend the author's text is simply due to the cause of the author not understanding her own thoughts. To this I will add the notoriously and world renowned idiot Huan Huan's own words as explanation: "How can Mark know what I'm doing if I don't know what I'm doing?" Ah...such pathetic behavior is so feasibly simple to discover these days, as Sailorman Jeff can also demonstrate for us in his purchase of a Playstation 2 for the sole purpose of playing DDR. If you don't know him, then you wouldn't understand. But then again, you still might. Much like Leon Shram's infamous Exposure Equation, the endless cycle of purposeless composition can never be completed. It's existence falls outside of time, and is yet timeless in itself.

Henry Tellin Me About Nirav's Cal Rap

stupidbaka39: have u read nirav's cal rap
ZoDiaX 665: no
stupidbaka39: when the bell has rung, and calc has begun
 dont even try, you NANCIFIED
 got stuck on the test, and time's running out
 dont even try, you NANCIFIED
 talkin bout pi, sin, and calculators
 turn in that test and say "see ya later"
 evacuate the building, it's calc BC,
 and the madness starts from period 3
 see some fools in the back didnt do their homework
 nancy's comin around, hurry yo ass up!
 my peeps be all cool and show nancy their papers
 she gives us a four, she aint a hater!
 you think notes gon be taken, give me a break
 it's nancy ball time, and it aint fake
 it seems nish and ajay be cutting some e-ploids,
 but nancy dont care, so they lucky boys
 we got phil in the front and he's bein really gay,
 mark in the back sleeping every damn day
 integration all around, and we roll our eyes
 dont know what to do, we nancified!
 
Session Close (stupidbaka39): Fri Feb 13 17:53:02 2004
 
Note: Nancy Stephenson is our cal teacher. Mark is me, and stupidbaka is Henry.

Anime Freaks

      "The Anime Freak is probably the most common, and one of the most annoying. You can usually spot a few warning signs to let you identify them before it's too late: they wear the same exact Evangelion shirt every day, they have more than one anime key chain on their person, they wear glasses, they say phrases in Japanese that they obviously don't understand (such as "Yes! I will never forgive you!"), they refer to you as "-chan", make obscure Japanese culture references during class, and usually fail class. You have to be extremely careful not to let them smell pity or fear on you, because if they do they will immeadiately latch onto you and suck up both your time and patience, leaving only a lifeless husk. Desperate for human companionship, they will invite you to club meetings, anime showings, conventions, and all other sorts of various things you don't care about..."--Anonymous

The Blond Issue

               So...my friend Chris told me the other day about something really ironic. If you're easily offended, don't read this, but remember, this came from him, and not me.
           So he's like "A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and the Easter Bunny are in a race. Who wins?"
           And I say, "The Easter Bunny? (thinking the rabbit's naturally the fastest of the bunch)."
          Chris replies, "No. The dumb blonde wins. The Easter Bunny and the smart blonde don't exist."
         Me, " ??? (hahahahahahaha)."

Last Time I Counted I Had Two...

sakura81851: PERV WHO HAS 7 BALLS!!!!!
sakura81851: PERV WHO HAS 7 BALLS!!!!
Matra 6 6 5: how is that bad
sakura81851: or was it 8...
Matra 6 6 5: i'm going to take that as a compliment

 

Jas Comes Out of the Closet (Following Johanan)

Jas: what is up B!*@#
Matra 6 6 5: not much senora
Jas: (pee)
Jas: (r)
Matra 6 6 5: wtf?
Matra 6 6 5: i get a picture of a rainbow
Matra 6 6 5: are you trying to imply something?
Matra 6 6 5: maybe something about your innate homosexuality?
Jas: why, yes

Living in a BoX

I was surprised upon viewing my surroundings. <Surprised? At what?>
Why, of people of course. I mean, why wouldn't they surprise you?
<Well, simply the fact that I already know alot about them.>
Do you...do you really?
<Well...that's what I thought...>
But you're wrong...
<How so?>
Upon examination, I've come to the conclusion that more than a small quantity of those you know are extraordinarily superficial peopl.
<Oh really? I always thought they were so nice and happy.>
Dear child you are mistaken. You are too naive. Sure they seem happy and nice. But there are few people who are purely such as that. People will ALWAYS want something return.
<What kind of people are like that?>
Nearly everyone you know..

<Oh yeah? That's not what I think. I mean some people I know are cool.>

Are they really? Are they really now...How can you be sure. It's just their facade to force others to believe them so that their resources can be exploited for personal gains, whether those are based on conscience, religion, or greed; it's all the same. No one really does anything for anyone else. No matter how closely you examine it, someone may seem like they're doing something for the common good, when they fail to explain that the common good involves themselves, their relatives, or their friends. If they don't end up surviving, it just makes them a martyr. But that's not to say that everyone's a bunch of selfish bastards.

<Then what ARE you trying to say?>

I'm simply trying to say that certain people who do things for you excessively should be watched with caution. Those are the ones who are most likely to end up screwing you over. They may seem to be just trying to be nice, but there is definitely something more. To one you should be cautious, to more you should observe.

<And that's it? Doesn't that just make people paranoid?>

Yes it does. But it also makes them wise.

Is Johanan Really Straight? Judge for Yourself...

ZoDiaX 665: this conversation never took place
somET HinGa zN: haha
somET HinGa zN: what do i get from it?
somET HinGa zN: :-P
ZoDiaX 665: one less bullet in ur ass
somET HinGa zN: lol
somET HinGa zN: that's nothing
ZoDiaX 665: exactly
somET HinGa zN: i have like a dozen already in there
somET HinGa zN: i don't mind an extra one
ZoDiaX 665: but would u actually want something?
ZoDiaX 665: cuz something isnt better than nothign
somET HinGa zN: depends on what something
ZoDiaX 665: well do you enjoy getting shot in the ass then?
somET HinGa zN: oh yes
somET HinGa zN: especially by strong muscular guys

Religion in a Nutshell

Taoism
Shit happens.
Buddhism
If shit happens, it's not really shit.
Islam
If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.
Protestantism
Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Judaism
Why does this shit always happen to us?
Hinduism
This shit happened before.
Catholicism
Shit happens because you're bad.
T.V. Evangelism
Send more shit.
Atheism
No shit.
Jehova's Witness
Knock knock, shit happens.
Hedonism
There's nothing like a good shit happening.
Christian Science
Shit happens in your mind.
Agnosticism
Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Rastafarianism
Let's smoke this shit.
Existentialism
What is shit anyway?
Stoicism
This shit doesn't bother me.

Get Your Ass Outta the Gutter and See for Yourself
      You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the
best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss
hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany
doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are
named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.'

The Proper Way to Get Rid of Telemarketers
Marketer: Hi.
Me: Hi.
Marketer: May I please speak to your father or the head of the household?
Me: Um...who is this?
Marketer: This is MCI and I want to tell you about a new program we offer. It's call the plan that sounds really cool but is in reality really gay plan.
Me: Oh really? It sounds cool.
Marketer: Yes it sure does. May I please speak to the head of the household?
Me: Sure, but before you do, may I please have your number?
Marketer: What? Oh...I'm sorry. We can't give you those. We don't want our workers getting calls at random times from random people.
Me: Well...now you know how I feel. Have a damn good day.
 

Ashleigh Explains God (and why you should be Christian)
ASHLEIGH: it wasn't me though, it was all God.  seriously.
ME: ...
ME: u must be some serious christian
ASHLEIGH: yes
ASHLEIGH: all the success I've ever had isn't something that I can take credit for; it was a blessing from God.
ME: ic
ME: oh well..
ME: i just hope god grants me the same graciousness
ASHLEIGH: pray about it :)
ME: there's a problem with that...
ME: i'm not christian
ASHLEIGH: so?  it's alright.  you should check it out.  find out what something's all about before you decide that you don't want a part of it.
ME: i used to be christian...
ME: just ...not anymore
ASHLEIGH: we certainly don't throw non-christians out of the church or anything :)
ASHLEIGH: why not anymore?
ME: it's a bit complicated
ME: doesn't mean i don't believe in god
ASHLEIGH: how do you know that you were christian before?
ME: because..i was
ASHLEIGH: what was it that made you christian?
ME: the church
ASHLEIGH: I don't think you were really christian.
ASHLEIGH: let me explain...
ME: i was
ASHLEIGH: only one thing can make a person christian.  and that's God.  Not just God, but the presence of God in your heart and the act of specifically asking Him to come into your heart and accepting Christ's gift of salvation from your sins.  At that point, a personal relationship with God begins.  Going to church, reading the Bible, believing in God and Jesus, and even praying are all good things, but none of them makes you a Christian.  It's an extremely personal act that does it.  There's such a wide misunderstanding out there of what makes you Christian.
ME: and ur previous lecture sounds like something a pastor would say...
ASHLEIGH: it's the simple truth though mark.  were you a christian according to what I just said?
ASHLEIGH: was there ever a time when you prayed to God to come into your heart and told Him that you accepted the gift of salvation that Christ gives?
ME: uh...
ASHLEIGH: can I explain the whole reasoning behind it?
ME: i dunno...
ME: sounds complicated...
ASHLEIGH: here...
ASHLEIGH: in the beginning, there was God.  God created us, and we weren't perfect.  Mankind isn't perfect, right?  I mean, no one is going to deny that every man has committed at least one sin in his life, right?  It's just in our nature.  Right?
ME: ..
ASHLEIGH: okay, I'll take that as an acknowledgement.  so...
ME: ic
ME: or do i?
ASHLEIGH: since God is perfect, He can't be in the presence of us, because we are imperfect, and that would go against His perfect nature.  It would be contradictory to the very essence of what God is.  So because of that, humans couldn't go to heaven, because if that happened, God would be in eternal fellowship with imperfect sinners.  And that just doesn't work.  He's soooo perfect that such a thing just wouldn't work.  So...
ME: ic...
ME: too bad we can't all be perfect
ASHLEIGH: He created this thing, a loophole if you will.  He said that our sins would be forgiven and we would be cleansed of them and essentially "perfect" in His eyes.  The only catch was that we would have to follow all these laws that He gave us, and on top of that we'd have to make sacrifices every year.  He told this to the Jewish people.  He made it very clear that we have to live the life He tells us to, and that the sacrifice of a lamb (ie the shedding of blood) was necessary for the forgiveness of sins, every year.  And...
ASHLEIGH: so the Jews lived that way for many years, following His laws.  All the while they kep getting all these prophecies about the Messiah, someone God would send to save them.  They expected his to be this person who would come and be a great king. What they didn't realize is that he was going to be sent to save them, not from oppression from foreign kings, but from their sins.  You see...
ME: ic...
ASHLEIGH: the sacrifice of the lamb each year was an imperfect sacrifice.  They were supposed to find the most perfect lamb they could.  But nothing on earth is perfect, so it wasn't fully right.  That's why each person had to sacrifice their own lamb over and over again, each year.  Because it wasn't truly perfect.  But...
ASHLEIGH: since the shedding of blood was necessary for the forgiveness of sins, God did the best thing.  He send His son.  Jesus lived a whole life as a man, and it was completely perfect.  He was perfect, and He was the perfect sacrifice.  And when He died on that cross, it was to cover all the sins of everyone in the world.  And it was entirely perfect, so nothing else was necessary.  THe laws weren't necessary, although it's good for us to follow them.  THe lamb-killing wasn't necessary. The sacrifice of Jesus' life was so perfect and powerful that it was all that was ever needed.  It's this incredible gift that God gave us.  And all we have to do in order to reap the benefits and be made perfect in His eyes so we can go to heaven is accept it.  that's it.  we just repent for our sins and accept the gift that He's giving us.  And that, my friend, is the basis of all Christianity. [wow eh?] --10/20/02

Infinity
     You know how these days people insist on going to college to study and study...and ultimately become a millionaire. A good dream, till you consider the realities of it. For example, if you make it all the way to college and drop out, hasn't most of your life been a waste? What if you killed right after you graduate? Doesn't that in turn make your entire pursuit of knowledge completely worthless? And what about those people who drop out or have no education at all, and eventually end up being richer than all of us? Even though these people are exceptions, can't we be exceptions too? Look at Sam Walton and his Wal- Mart, and the Wendy's guy. Both have a convenient lack of education, and yet they're rich. When our first paycheck comes in after we aquire some form of a "job," we'll be saying," Wow...my first deposit..." However, if you compare it to the people who have had no education at all and are still rich, you think,"Even if I get a raise, promoted, and so on...I'll still never be able to make that much money...Meanwhile, those people have it easy...they never had to study like I did, didn't have to pay a fortune in college, and yet that's exactly what they're making. Speaking of which, four years in a decent college will cost you nearly 100 grand. I could buy two luxury cars with that. By not going to collegel, wouldn't I be saving more than I would eventually earn anyway, compared to those people?" Much of that is true, until you consider the spiritual side of it. In having and education, you're basically buying yourself some pride. For the people who got lucky and made a fortune, they will always feel an emptiness; like they cheated life somehow. Meanwhile, you will have pride in knowing you deserved what you earned, while those other idiots are sitting on their fat asses just watching the money roll in. Although that idea sounds like a promising dream, there's more to life than that. The point of existence is not to exist in the present, but to exist in the future. A life is worthless if it does not alter society in some way or leave a mark upon the earth. In that sense, you are granted immortality through knowledge. A century from now, who cares about Mc Donald's or Wendy's or Wal- Mart for that matter. They'll honor the inventor of cold fusion, the scientific achievements of an educated man...not some idiot who happened to playing with things they shouldn't and came across gold. So in reality, you can either live in the present, or you can live forever. What will you choose? As for me, I'll see what I can do to get both ;) -- 10/5/02

Puritans or Poor Bastards?
[[Due to the nature of this word (and the fact that some teacher might runupon this webpage and read it), reading discretion is advised (mainly so I won't get in trouble, I won't use the actual word in context).]]
     A friend recently told me about how the f-word originated. He said that it began with the Puritans who landed in America. He stated that the Puritans believed that a man in the process of "begatting" gains "carnal knowledge" of the person he is in the process of "begatting." However, when a man gains too much "carnal knowledge," it becomes a crime (ex. when he is unfaithful). So what the Puritans would do is that they would usually state the crime of the accused in writing above the accused's head on the stocks (those wooden things they used to use that you bend over and stick your head and hands into). Originally, they Puritans would put "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" for those who have comitted the crime of gaining too much "carnal knowledge." So, to shorten it so that either the Puritans were too lazy or that the words didn't fit, they made it into an acronym, which is how the f-word originated(sounds a little confusing, but that's because this individual does not wish to be in any more trouble than he already is so that any adult individual cannot hold this individual responsible for any wrongdoing on the part of this individual).
--8/12/02

Flying- [Part 1]
"There is an art, ...or, rather a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss [hence falling with style]. Pick a nice day,...and try it. The first part is easy. All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt. That is, it's going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground. Most people fail to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard. Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties. One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It's no good deliberately intending to miss the ground because you won't. You have to have your attention suddenly distracted by something else when you're halfway there, so that you are no longer thinking about falling, or about the ground, or about how much it's going to hurt if you fail to miss it [ignore the pain I suppose...easier said than done]."--Life, the Universe and Everything-- 7/30/02

Flying- [Part 2]
"It is notoriously difficult to prize your attention away from these three things during the split second you have at your disposal. Hence most people's failure, and their eventual disillusionment with this exhilarating and spectacular sport [I've done it before...for about 10 seconds before i realized it...then down I went]. If, however, you are lucky enough to have your attention momentarily distracted at the crucial moment by, say, a gorgeous pair of legs (tentacles, pseudopodia, according to phyllum and/ or personal inclination) [don't even have to be legs if you know what I mean] or a bomb going off in your vicinity, or by suddenly spotting an extremely rare species of beetle crawling along a nearby twig, then in your astonishment you will miss the ground completely and remain bobbing just a few inches above it in what might seem to be a slightly foolish manner."--Life, the Universe and Everything-- 7/31/02

Flying- [Part 3]
"This is a moment for superb and delicate concentration. Bob and float, float and bob. Ignore all considerations of your own weight and simply let yourself waft higher. Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful. They are most likely to say something along the lines of 'Good God, you can't possibly be flying!' It is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right. Waft higher and higher. Try a few swoops, gentle ones at first, then drift above the treetops breathing regularly. DO NOT WAVE AT ANYBODY [because then you will realize you're flying and gravity will notice what you're doing and say "get down here" and well...down you go]. When you have done this a few times you will find the moment of distraction rapidly becomes easier and easier to achieve. You will then learn all sorts of things about how to control your flight, your speed, your maneuverability, and the trick usually lies in not thinking too hard about whatever you want to do, but just allowing it to happen as if it were going to anyway [basically, just take a nap and dream that you're flying]. You will also learn about how to land properly, which is something you will almost certainly screw up, and screw up badly, on your first attempt [such as breaking your next on your fall]."--Life, the Universe and Everything-- 7/31/02

"The history of the Galaxy has got a little muddled, for a number of reasons: partly because those who are trying to keep track of it have got a little muddled, but also because those who are trying to keep track of it have got a little muddled, but also because some very muddling things have been happening anyway. One of the problems has to do with the speed of light and the difficulties involved in trying to exceed it. You can't. Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws."--Mostly Harmless--7/29/02

The Universe
"Area-Infinite
Population-None
It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination [if that's true then I must have a pretty wild imagination]."-- The Restaurant at the End of the Universe-- 7/29/02

Chaos
 
So while I've been around trying to figure out how the hell this makes sense when our teacher started us on chaos, apparently "students of chaos are looking inside randomness for subtle indications of pattern that will lead to deeper understanding of the order in the world around us...If we can understand how complexity arises out of simplicity, we may learn how to see simplicity hidden underneath complexity." Somehow, this ties into fractals which for some strange reason can have non-integer dimensions, such as a fractal having a dimension greater than 1 but less than 2. If you've played Zelda before, you know what I'm about to say next. If you've seen the Zeldan triangle, the one that stands for the triforce, then you might understand how this works...cuz i still don't that much. Apparently, if you keep iterating the Zeldan triangle, you end up with Sierpinski's triangle, a fractal that looks like Zeldan triangles within Zeldan triangles...with a dimension of 1.585. Now what the hell is up with that. The notes say that it's more than a line, but not quite 2D and doesn't fill up an area. I say bullshit. But then again, I just started with this stuff.
They say that the equation to determine the Dimension of a Fractal= ln(replacement number)/ln(reduction factor). The area of a fractal can be determined by the sum of a geometric series. S= a1/(1-r) where a1 is the first number in the sequence and r is the number that a1 is multiplied by to get the second number and so on. Play around with this stuff and give me feedback on whether or not stage 0 or 1 should be used and if it works or not.

The Butterfly Effect
 
The Butterfly Effect is what I heard is a good example of chaos. For some reason, all these butterflies come from Brazil...but anyways...They say that a butterfly in Brazil flaps its wings. This lets out a barely perceptible wind that spirals into the atmosphere where it combines with other air currents and causes a storm in Florida. It's kind of confusing cuz i've been trying to picture these scenarios in my head...but apparently the butterfly effect is supposed to show the sensitivity of chaos in nature. Pffft...

 0!
I've been wondering recently how 0 factorial can be 1. Everyone I've asked all say that it's defined to be 1. After some thought, I've realized how this doesn't quite make sense. I mean, factorial means n*(n-1)*(n-2)...I know you can't have a factorial of a negative number, but 0 isn't negative. Say you plug 0 into n. That gives you 0*-1*-2 and so on till negative infinity. How can I get an answer for an expression that goes on to infinity? Well, first of all, anything multiplied by 0 defaults to 0. So even thought the expression might not exist, the answer to the nonexisting expression does exist because 0 times any amount of numbers will always equal 0. Whoever can provide a clear explanation of how 0!=1, please contact me.

On the couch...

I was thinking the other day while lying on my bed, "why do people find joy and happiness doing nothing at all?" I mean, what's the fun in doing nothing, when you could be playing and stuff. If our lives revolved around lying around all day, wouldn't people be extremely bored? It's like some people like being bored. They believe that purposely being bored is the equivalent to trying not to be bored. But whoever does that just ends up where he/she started. It's a lot like twiddling your thumbs. It's not fun, unless you're really retarded. And it's definitely a stupid way to pass time. In retrospect, why not do it? Some people may say because it's stupid and time consuming, but isn't that what it's all about? You have a lot of time to kill, why not move your thumbs up and down and left and right just so you can enjoy yourself for a minute or two. Then, when reality kicks in, you end up taking a long look at your life and thinking, "What the hell am I doing? Am I really that stupid? Or maybe it's something more...maybe it's a sign!!!" Of what? Your own stupidity and lack of a life? But then again...why was I lying on my bed thinking about this in the first place?---5/18/02

"Uh...ook...so anyway...who's got something better to say?"--Ramaker, English II Teacher

Stupid teachers always give projects at the last minute...